Today we’re sharing insight from guest blogger, Dan Asleson, President & CEO of the YMCA of Michiana. We hope you enjoy Dan’s wisdom and perspective.
Isn't it strange, that princes and kings,
And clowns that caper in sawdust rings,
And common-folk like you and me,
Are builders for eternity?
Each is given a bag of tools,
A shapeless mass, a Book of Rules;
And each must make 'ere life has flown,
A stumbling block or a stepping stone.
R.L. Sharpe
I was young (17 years old) when I first heard this poem and decided I would commit it to memory. I fell in love with the simplicity and beauty of the first stanza. We are all builders, regardless of one’s roots.
And I figured at that young age whatever tools I had in my bag would be enough to build whatever I set out to build. And they were. Those tools did me well over the next two decades. I was definitely making stepping stones, moving up in my career, and taking increasingly greater positions of leadership at work and in the community.
But a strange thing happened a few years back. The very tools that positioned me to be a builder and served me well as I started my career suddenly were creating stumbling blocks instead of stepping stones. Where once my confidence and command of the situation were seen as strengths, I was coming across as overbearing and a poor listener. I counted “strategic thinker” as one of the most effective tools in my bag, yet I didn’t have my team aligned with our strategy. I thought I was empowering my team by giving lots of latitude, but instead I wasn’t holding people accountable.
I wasn’t building any more. I was stumbling. And others on my team who were counting on me to build stepping stones were stumbling as well.
I realized the tools that got me through the early part of my career were no longer enough. I needed more or different tools in my bag, or I might end up being a clown instead of a king.
For you avid readers of leadership blogs and business books, you probably recognize this theme by now and have heard/read it many times before. Sure I tried to use a different metaphor, but there are countless books, articles, and speakers at conferences that have the same message: it’s important to make ongoing adjustments to your leadership style!
Unfortunately, that’s not where this story ends. I wish I could tie this all up neatly by sharing some book I read or some new method I starting using that helped me turn the corner.
But what really happened is that I kept stumbling and things got worse. I knew I needed different tools, but I was scared those around me might realize at any minute that I was a fraud who didn’t know what I was doing. So I doubled down on my approach. I had the tools to get this far, I thought I must have just been going through a rough patch. I kept at it. I thought maybe if I just put my head down and worked harder and longer than I had before, the rest of the team would see my dedication to the cause and it would all work itself it out.
I was feeling vulnerable, but felt like any outward expression of that vulnerability would be seen as weakness and would continue to undermine my effectiveness as a leader. This cycle continued to build upon itself and my self-doubt grew.
Most business and leadership books gloss over these darker aspects of leadership. We seldom talk about vulnerability or fear as natural emotions everyone experiences. I felt like the best thing I could do is to push those feelings down.
Then one day I received an email from my mentor Bruce Gobdel. He forwarded me a brief blog post from Seth Godin, which read:
Beating yourself up
This odd behavior mostly shows up when others are criticizing us, disappointed, or angry about something we did. Odd because it's so useless.
In those moments, there are already plenty of other people beating you up. Save yourself the trouble.
The rest of the time, when things are going well, it's foolish to stop and engage in self-criticism. It makes more sense to encourage yourself, to bootstrap your way to even more of a ruckus.
So, the moments left to beat yourself up = zero.
Onward.
It sat in my inbox for about a week before I took the message to heart and decided to move past all of the negative self-talk and fear I was experiencing.
It turns out the tool I needed most to continue building stepping stones was a simple one - perspective.
What’s The Risk?
Without the right perspective, I was blinded by my fear. And while fear is natural, it’s no way to lead. Knowing when to get perspective is just as important as knowing where to get perspective.
The risk for any leader is not getting the right perspective at the right time. Because the wrong perspective will definitely cause you to stumble.
This content was written and shared by guest blogger Dan Asleson.
Dan Asleson serves as the President and C.E.O. of the YMCA of Michiana and has served in that capacity since May of 2010. In this role, Dan works with staff and volunteers to strengthen the foundations of our community through youth development, healthy living and social responsibility. During his tenure, Dan has guided the YMCA of Michiana through a comprehensive rebranding effort, a major renovation at the Riverview Family YMCA, the launch of the new Edison Lakes Family YMCA in Mishawaka and capital and program expansion at YMCA Camp Eberhart.
Prior to serving the YMCA of Michiana, Dan served as the Executive Director of the Bettendorf Family YMCA (Bettendorf, Iowa). He has prior professional experience with the Boy Scouts of America and Augustana College.
A native of Moline, Illinois, Dan is a graduate of Augustana College in Rock Island, IL and obtained a Master’s of Business Administration degree from the University of Notre Dame. Dan is also Certified Innovation Mentor. Dan is married to Becky (Bankoff) Asleson and they have a daughter Cates and a son Banks.
Connect with Dan on LinkedIn. Connect with the YMCA of Michiana via Twitter, Facebook, and their website.
